A Reason
by QueenWillie
Summary: Daniel needs more from Wilhelmina. Inspired by the song: Hold me by Savage Garden. ONESHOT


Title: A Reason

Author: QueenWillie

Pairing: Daniel/Wilhelmina

Rating: NC17

Disclaimer: How many times!? They're not mine!!

Summary: Daniel needs more.(wow crap summary huh??)

_Authors Note: The song used in this fic is Hold Me by Savage Garden. If anyone has not heard them, I urge you to check them out, especially this song as it's total Danimina lol. As usual, thanks to the wonderful Fra for being my beta and keeping me going when the dreaded BLOCK descends. Special thanks to Jaz and Adina too for keeping me semi-sane when up writing at 2am :)_

_xXx_

_Hey, If we can't find our way out of these problems_

_Then maybe we don't need this,_

_Standing face to face,_

_Enemies at war, we build defences_

_And secret hiding places._

Yet again, his attempt to sort out this madness had descended into their usual brand of carnal depravity_. So much for no sexual tension_, he thought. Since his initial attempt at 'clearing the air' when trapped in the elevator alone together, and her rebuking his advances, _Otherwise known as splitting my god damn lip, _he had thought it would go no further. But his words and actions that evening must have awoken some deep seeded desire in her, because it wasn't long before she had turned up at his empty office. She had marched in, temper flaring and walked around his desk to square off with him. He had stood staring at her, confused and a little terrified, when she had snarled at him.

'Damn you Meade.' She grabbed his biceps and crushed him to her, kissing him deeply, desperately wanting more. After his initial shock, he had willingly reciprocated; clearing his desk and doing things so wrong he couldn't sit and work at that desk any longer without seeing their bodies writhing on it.

That should have been it, right? Clear the sexual tension and move on? Wrong. He had taken many recreational drugs in his murky past, but nothing compared to the high of making the Ice Queen scream his name. He kept going back for more, no matter the personal risk, no matter that those nearest and dearest to him would be destroyed if they found out what he was doing. The only thought that consoled him was that she was being drawn as deep into their little affair as he was.

She had started coming to him more and more, calling him to her, staying late at the office until they were alone. She would deny it until she dropped dead but he knew her feelings were shifting from lust to...something more, just like him. Again, that was something she would never admit: she preferred to keep playing her mind games, play the part of the stoic bitch that he knew she no longer was. He sure as hell wasn't going to lay it on the line before she did, he may have changed how he felt about her but he wasn't fool enough to give her that sort of ammunition.

Which is how they had ended up in the mess they were now in. He had came over at the same time he had every other Friday night and she had opened the door wearing the same wicked smile and gold robe she had every Friday night.

_I might need you to hold me tonight, _

_I might need you to say it's alright, _

_I might need you to make the first stand, _

_Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man_

He had the best of intentions when he arrived, he was there only to tell her that as much as he wanted it to, this couldn't go on. He needed more than just sex in his life now and that was all she was prepared to give him. He had been unable to form the words in his mouth, his voice stuck in his throat as his subconscious told him that if he said what he wanted to, he would need to walk away from the door and never again see what was hidden under that robe. So he had bit his tongue and he was now using it to torture her in the most exquisite way. As he drew back from her slightly, he felt her hand twist tightly in his hair and pull him back up her body. Faces level now, she pushed his shoulder roughly, moving him onto his back as she followed him and climbed on top of him. He sat up against her headboard and sank his teeth into her collarbone as she lowered onto him. She moved her hips with a sense of urgency, desperate for release, her eyes clenched tightly shut. One hand was grasping handful of his hair and the other was clasped in his, beside their bodies, his free hand was on her spine, holding her body close to his own as he thrust up to meet her, his head hitting the lavish headboard behind him.

As he felt the, by now familiar, sensation of her muscles tightening around him, he pulled her hips roughly and flipped her until she was under him. Grabbing her legs, he moved them roughly until her ankles rested on his shoulders, the position causing him to drive deep into her, making her cry out and claw the fabric of the ornate headboard. He lowered his hand to the sensitive spot above where their bodies were joined and pinched hard, prolonging her orgasm as she screamed his name and he thrust into her, hard, one last time before he came with an incoherent cry of her name.

Rolling off her still shaking form, he landed beside her with a thump, hand over his eyes as he attempted to control his ability to breathe. Inclining his head slightly, to look at her, he noticed she had pulled the sheet over her nakedness and was staring at the ceiling, still breathing hard.

'Wilhelmina...I need more.'

She laughed, 'Give me a minute.'

He turned on to his side and reached his hand over to her faraway shoulder and pulled until she too was on her side, facing him.

'No, I mean, I need more...than this.'

Her mouth set in a firm line as his words hit home. Shrugging his hand from her, she turned onto her back again, staring ahead, saying nothing.

_Hey, more than angry words, I hate this silence_

_It's getting so loud_

_Well I want to scream, _

_But bitterness has silenced these emotions_

_It's getting hard to breathe._

'Willie, say something.'

'What exactly do you want me to say Daniel?' she snapped, knowing full well what he wanted.

'Give me a reason.'

She exhaled loudly, ignoring him.

'Give me a reason to stay Wilhelmina.'

She threw the cover from her and angrily got up, pulling on her robe and stormed from the room. Sighing wearily, Daniel swung his legs over the side of the bed and began locating his discarded clothes. Pulling his boxers on, he padded barefoot through the house, trying to find her. He found her in the kitchen, pouring coffee for herself. When she saw him there she drank deeply from the cup and stared at a point in the room, far away from him, trying to ignore his presence.

'Will you stop acting like a teenager?'

She still ignored him. He sighed.

'Wilhelmina, we both knew this conversation would come sooner or later.' She turned to face him and tilted her head, observing him.

'No Daniel, we didn't. Why couldn't we have just carried on doing what we were doing? Now you want more and that means it's over.'

He folded his arms against his chest and set his jaw. 'Why does that mean it's over?'

'I know what you want Daniel...and I can't give it to you.'

'And what do I want?'

'Happiness, security...a family. I can't make you happy, God knows after our history you would never feel secure. And family? Been there, done that, fucked it up royally.' She stopped looking at him and drank from her cup.

'All I want is a chance Willie...but I can't commit myself to that until I get more from you.'

'I want you, isn't that enough?'

He shook his head slowly. 'No, it's not. You know what I need from you...what I need you to admit to me, but you need to admit it to yourself first.'

'And what about you?'

'I know how I feel Willie and I know how you do too...I need the words though, it may be selfish, but I need them and after everything I've been through with you I'd say I'm owed them.' He walked back down the hall into her bed room, leaving her standing, staring at the spot he vacated.

_So tell me isn't happiness_

_Worth more than a Gold and Diamond ring_

_I'm willing to do anything_

_To calm the storm in my heart_

_I've never been the praying kind_

_But lately I've been down upon my knees_

_Not looking for a miracle, just a reason to believe._

When he returned to the kitchen, he was fully dressed and had his coat in his hand, she was still leaning against the counter, swirling the now cold coffee with her finger and staring at the patterns she made on the surface. He cleared his throat to get her attention, she looked up at the sound and smiled weakly, before dipping her head again.

'Well?' He questioned.

She shook her head slowly. 'I can't give you what you want...I'm sorry.'

'No you're not.' She looked up at him, at the anger in his voice. 'If you were sorry, you would just admit what I'm asking you to...you're scared. You're a coward Wilhelmina.'

'Who the hell...'

'Save it Willie! You _are _a coward, you won't admit, even to yourself, what you feel. You're too goddamn frightened of what people will think if they find out you have feelings for me. I have way more to lose in this than you do...I have actual people that I love that could very well abandon me if this were to become common knowledge, but I'm willing to risk all that. You...? You're worried about what some bitchy queens might say about you, worried that people might think Wilhelmina Slater is going soft. That's why you're a coward Willie.'

He turned round and walked to her door, he heard hurried footsteps behind him and felt a hand on his arm. He allowed her to turn him round, but wouldn't look in her eyes, instead focussing on a spot above her head.

'Daniel, I can't give you what you want...right now. It's gonna take time.'

'It's been seven months, Willie.'

'Look why can't we just keep doing...this, and see where we end up. Maybe I'll get there.'

He finally allowed himself to look at her. 'Maybe isn't enough, I can't put my life on hold for "maybe". I'm at a stage in my life where I need more than God damn maybe! After Molly...life's too short, okay? I thought you'd get that, you know...after Connor.'

She just looked at him, fighting an internal battle. Daniel could see her struggle and grabbed her hands, bringing them close to his chest. 'One last chance Willie...just tell me.'

She took a deep breath and her mouth moved noiselessly for a couple of seconds before she clamped it shut and shook her head. He dropped her hands

'Goodbye Wilhelmina.'

_Do you remember not long ago?_

_When we used to live for the night time _

_Cherish each moment_

_Now we don't live, we exist_

_We just run through our lives_

_So alone_

_That's why you've got to hold me._

Daniel now sat alone in his apartment, mourning the loss of a relationship he never truly had. He knew he had done the right thing, knew he needed to walk away if she wasn't willing to open herself to him, but it didn't mean he had to like it. The most awful part of his predicament is that he had no-one to help him through it. There was no one he had told, no one he could tell. How was he supposed to tell people he was broken hearted because Wilhelmina Slater wouldn't admit she felt for him? He chuckled at his own thoughts. People would think he was mad. How was he supposed to work along-side her now? Hiding the feelings that she now, so obviously, knew of. If he could get a hold of that goddamn therapist who had uttered the words "sexual" and "tension", right now, he would wring his fucking neck.

As he walked from his lounge to his bedroom, he heard a loud, deliberate rap on his door. Opening it, he bit back a smile as he saw an irate Wilhelmina standing there. Hands on hips, dressed in a short black coat and black patent heels. Her hair tousled, partly from their earlier escapades and partly by the wind and rain she would have been caught in on her way here.

'Fine!' She snapped at him.

'Fine what?' He folded his arms, she twisted her neck as if preparing for a fight.

'Fine, you cocky, arrogant, son of a bitch...I love you!' She shouted.

'Well, you manipulative, conniving, witch...I love you too!' He yelled back.

'Fine!'

'Fine!'

'Good!'

'Good!'

His hand shot out from his body to grab the front of her coat and pull her to him. Lips clashing furiously as he bundled her into his arms. They stumbled into his apartment, hands travelling over each other, she kicked his door shut and he backed her against it roughly. His kisses travelling down her neck as his hands worked at the knot in front of her coat. Opening the coat, he stopped and grinned when he saw she was only wearing a silk slip underneath.

'Well you're pretty damn sure of yourself.' He whispered as his teeth nipped her ear.

'I always am.' She retorted with a dry laugh as her hands ripped at his clothing.

He picked her up and her legs went around him. He laughed as he continued to kiss her neck.

'What!?'

'I can't believe I got you to say it first.'

'Shut up Daniel.' She dug her nails into his back and pushed herself away from the wall, into him, making him groan.

'Make me.' He growled in her ear.

'Oh a challenge? You'll regret this Meade.' She smiled.

He pulled his head away from her and stopped his movements. Looking in her eyes, he smiled and kissed her slowly, gaining a moan from her when he reluctantly broke the contact.

'You know, somehow...I don't think I will.'


End file.
